Korejko's Quill
Korejko's Quill
Audio Pen #1
0:00
-13:34

Audio Pen #1

The Full Moon, children, and parenting

(00:00:00):

Good morning.

(00:00:01):

I know it's been a long time since I've done one of these and I will be honest,

(00:00:07):

it's mostly because I haven't been feeling well.

(00:00:10):

I have a bit of a chronic illness and chronic pain and I took the time to focus on my health.

(00:00:19):

But now I'm back and I hope to commit to posting regularly and publishing a

(00:00:28):

blogs and audio blogs once again.

(00:00:31):

I have a lot of exciting things coming up, a lot of exciting offers, and I can't wait to share with you.

(00:00:38):

But for now, I'll just get into what I have to share.

(00:00:42):

So

(00:00:46):

One of the things that I used to do when I very,

(00:00:48):

very first started out doing blogs was I used to write a lot about...

(00:00:59):

you know,

(00:00:59):

sensory,

(00:01:00):

you know,

(00:01:01):

kids and sensory information and how it tied into,

(00:01:07):

sometimes it tied into astrology,

(00:01:09):

sometimes it tied into seasonal,

(00:01:13):

sometimes it tied into,

(00:01:15):

you know,

(00:01:16):

empathic information.

(00:01:18):

And

(00:01:21):

I kind of went away from that a little while.

(00:01:23):

And a lot of that was because when I was becoming trauma-informed,

(00:01:28):

when I was going through my studies as a trauma-informed practitioner,

(00:01:32):

I felt like it wasn't helpful to share these things.

(00:01:38):

And now that I have this approach, this very broad approach to trauma-informed care and spirituality,

(00:01:49):

I feel confident that, one, that there's a place for both of these things in the same place.

(00:01:58):

They're both relevant.

(00:01:59):

They're both important.

(00:02:00):

And honestly, you can't have one without the other and you shouldn't.

(00:02:05):

So it kind of brought me back here in a really cool way.

(00:02:09):

And I am excited and I am ready to...

(00:02:17):

I'm ready to evolve and I'm ready to open this information up to those who need it

(00:02:24):

and want it and align with that philosophy of,

(00:02:27):

yeah,

(00:02:28):

the trauma-informed care and the recognition of

(00:02:33):

the very real way that stress shapes our nervous system,

(00:02:37):

both as parents and as families and as children.

(00:02:42):

And the spiritual component of those of us who seek solace and seek refuge in the stars and

(00:02:53):

There's room for both.

(00:02:54):

I really believe that.

(00:02:56):

I really believe there's room for both.

(00:02:58):

So I'm taking this full moon now as an opportunity to share some of the things that

(00:03:05):

are coming up for me and things that I felt compelled to share.

(00:03:11):

And the first thing today that I wanted to share was...

(00:03:19):

was the full moon vibes for, especially for kids.

(00:03:21):

But I, you know, I want to share for parents too.

(00:03:23):

And yeah,

(00:03:27):

you'll hear any,

(00:03:28):

even law enforcement and nurses,

(00:03:33):

nurses especially,

(00:03:35):

but anyone,

(00:03:37):

you may not believe in astrology,

(00:03:38):

but anyone in a first responder position likely watches the moon cycles.

(00:03:44):

Why?

(00:03:45):

Because they know people are deeply influenced under the full moon.

(00:03:49):

They know that it changes the way that people

(00:03:54):

behave or it accelerates behavior or it makes things more visible.

(00:04:00):

You know, there's a reason.

(00:04:01):

There's a reason that there's lore around werewolves in the full moon.

(00:04:06):

And so a very long time ago, I wrote this article about kids under the full moon.

(00:04:12):

And it went very viral.

(00:04:13):

It went internationally viral.

(00:04:15):

And it was all about how you might notice behavior changes under the full moon and

(00:04:19):

how to howl with your children under the full moon,

(00:04:22):

right?

(00:04:22):

They're reminding us.

(00:04:23):

They remind us that we got to let go of this idea of perfection and hustle and sit

(00:04:32):

with the discomfort,

(00:04:34):

sit with the messy.

(00:04:35):

And that came back today.

(00:04:37):

And it very well could have been the same time of year.

(00:04:40):

I'm not too sure.

(00:04:40):

I've written so many articles that I can't remember.

(00:04:44):

But the core of this is these full moon vibes.

(00:04:50):

I noticed it this morning when my one child went into meltdown mode.

(00:04:56):

It's the first time I've seen him have a meltdown in a very, very long time.

(00:05:01):

You know, since he was...

(00:05:04):

preschooler maybe and this meltdown seemed like it was over something relatively

(00:05:11):

innocuous meaning it was an assignment that was due for school and he had to

(00:05:17):

collect these materials and this sent him down a stress meltdown spiral now from

(00:05:27):

the outside as a parent I at first in my mind I was like this isn't that big of a

(00:05:32):

deal and

(00:05:33):

What's the big deal?

(00:05:34):

I don't understand.

(00:05:34):

I don't understand why you're so stressed out about this.

(00:05:37):

Let's just get the materials and send them into school and be on our way.

(00:05:43):

But then when I took a minute to step outside of my own interpretation of this,

(00:05:52):

And remember how easily I get stressed out over mundane things like bills,

(00:05:58):

like life,

(00:06:00):

like assignments that are due for work that I don't want to do.

(00:06:05):

And this is totally valid.

(00:06:06):

His response is totally valid, right?

(00:06:10):

And his response, his feelings matter.

(00:06:13):

And I stopped.

(00:06:15):

I stopped in the middle of my own, you know, like, well, what's the big deal?

(00:06:20):

Just go get a bag and who cares?

(00:06:22):

And I was like, wanted to be on my way.

(00:06:24):

I wanted to be done with the discomfort of this meltdown.

(00:06:29):

And I stopped myself and I just gave him a huge hug.

(00:06:34):

And I said, man, I see you're stressed.

(00:06:36):

I see you're stressed.

(00:06:38):

I completely understand why you're stressed out.

(00:06:41):

And he hugged me back and he was like, thank you.

(00:06:44):

I really am stressed out.

(00:06:46):

And I was like, okay, let me know how I can help.

(00:06:49):

I'm here to help, okay?

(00:06:53):

So sensitivity is an all-time high right now.

(00:06:57):

And what do I mean by that, right?

(00:06:59):

Sensitivity is not like,

(00:07:05):

being wounded emotionally easy or oh you're too sensitive you overthink right i

(00:07:12):

mean in the literal sense right um kids that are sensory seekers or sensory

(00:07:18):

avoiders the input and the output is so overwhelming right now the sensory

(00:07:26):

information is

(00:07:29):

It could be like a breeze blowing over the skin the wrong way and it hurts, right?

(00:07:36):

The stimulus or the stimuli, the external stimuli is overwhelming right now.

(00:07:42):

And they may need to kick, scream, cry, and yell at the sky.

(00:07:48):

And that's completely valid.

(00:07:50):

We have to remind them that this is valid.

(00:07:53):

Hug them.

(00:07:55):

Remind them it's okay to cry and still be a badass, right?

(00:07:59):

And by the way, age appropriate.

(00:08:01):

Don't tell your child.

(00:08:02):

Or maybe, I don't know.

(00:08:03):

Maybe you're the type of parent that would tell your child that they're a badass.

(00:08:06):

I'm not sure.

(00:08:06):

But, you know, remind them.

(00:08:07):

Remind them.

(00:08:08):

It's okay to cry.

(00:08:10):

And then, you know, then quote unquote toughen up, right?

(00:08:16):

But this isn't really a time for toughening up.

(00:08:18):

You can't, right?

(00:08:19):

When your skin is sensitive and all the wounds are exposed and all of the hurt is exposed, right?

(00:08:25):

And it's time to recognize that.

(00:08:28):

It's time to recognize the stress of childhood and the stress of what our kids are

(00:08:34):

carrying and how they feel the stress of the world around them and how they

(00:08:38):

interpret that.

(00:08:44):

You might also notice that the executive functioning of basic tasks is falling off a cliff's edge.

(00:08:52):

And we have to remember to simplify things.

(00:08:55):

We might have to help them with very basic tasks.

(00:08:58):

You might have to help your teenager remember to brush his teeth or eat.

(00:09:05):

I had to remind my teenager to eat today.

(00:09:08):

He forgot to eat breakfast, right?

(00:09:12):

The system is stressed.

(00:09:13):

It's overwhelmed.

(00:09:14):

It's bogged down.

(00:09:16):

And all three of my kids,

(00:09:18):

all three of my kids,

(00:09:18):

I got a call from my son's phone on the school bus,

(00:09:22):

right?

(00:09:23):

I just wanted to call to see whose phone this is because he left it behind.

(00:09:26):

Different kid, right?

(00:09:27):

Executive functioning fell off.

(00:09:28):

He forgot to put his phone in his backpack, right?

(00:09:31):

So forgetfulness isn't...

(00:09:35):

Oftentimes forgetfulness is interpreted as...

(00:09:40):

Something like laziness or a not responsible kid.

(00:09:45):

And that's not true, right?

(00:09:46):

And I know this especially in my kids because it's not like them, right?

(00:09:51):

Their executive function is pretty, pretty well maintained, pretty organized for the most part.

(00:09:57):

And the fact that all three of them in each of their own way had an executive

(00:10:04):

functioning moment drop off today completely.

(00:10:10):

tells me that this isn't just a coincidence.

(00:10:14):

There's something more to be looked at.

(00:10:18):

The system is stressed.

(00:10:19):

Their systems are stretched and stressed and it's time to unwind things.

(00:10:27):

Maybe skip that practice.

(00:10:29):

Don't push them.

(00:10:30):

Remind them and yourself it's okay to be imperfect because now is not the time to

(00:10:36):

place shame or blame for leaving things behind or forgetting homework or not

(00:10:42):

performing well on tests.

(00:10:45):

There's too much going on.

(00:10:46):

There's too much going on in the world that they are interpreting their own way.

(00:10:52):

and this is not only is it okay but it's normal this is actually like completely

(00:10:58):

normal and we tend to worry as parents that our children's behavior means that we

(00:11:02):

are doing something wrong and I want to gently remind you mom and dad that you are

(00:11:06):

not doing anything wrong and maybe maybe this is the time maybe this is the time

(00:11:13):

that

(00:11:16):

It's like you get back to those basic things.

(00:11:18):

Cook someone's favorite meal.

(00:11:21):

Cook the family's favorite meal.

(00:11:23):

Sit together.

(00:11:24):

Watch a movie together.

(00:11:28):

Just do the things that feel good right now that promote family togetherness.

(00:11:34):

Remind your children you're in this with them.

(00:11:38):

Remind them that you are a part of their team and that you're going to help them.

(00:11:46):

They forget, right?

(00:11:47):

And we forget.

(00:11:48):

Because it seems so obvious.

(00:11:49):

And this is the most important thing because it's imperative that they remember.

(00:12:01):

And it seems so obvious to us.

(00:12:03):

Of course I'm on their team.

(00:12:05):

Of course I want them to succeed and thrive.

(00:12:07):

And I just want to make sure that we're getting and going and going and going.

(00:12:12):

And what they really need right now is just a nice big hug.

(00:12:18):

Watch them melt.

(00:12:21):

Watch them melt into you.

(00:12:22):

Maybe all the things that they've been carrying or they say they're okay.

(00:12:26):

And maybe they're not.

(00:12:27):

Right?

(00:12:30):

Right?

(00:12:31):

And the outside world puts so much pressure on us to keep going beyond our limits.

(00:12:39):

And right now,

(00:12:40):

tuning into your kids,

(00:12:42):

sitting in the messy,

(00:12:45):

that is,

(00:12:46):

you know,

(00:12:47):

we'd like to think that's not productive,

(00:12:48):

but it is.

(00:12:51):

Probably the most productive thing that you can do is remind your kids that they're human.

(00:12:57):

That it's messy sometimes, that the world is messy right now.

(00:13:01):

It doesn't have to be perfect.

(00:13:04):

It can't be.

(00:13:04):

Remind your kid that.

(00:13:08):

Remind your kid it's okay to not be perfect.

(00:13:12):

Especially today and through the weekend.

(00:13:15):

Honestly, every day.

(00:13:18):

But today specifically.

(00:13:21):

So best of luck.

(00:13:22):

Best of wishes.

(00:13:23):

I love you guys.

(00:13:25):

Take it easy on yourselves and your kids.

(00:13:29):

You got this.

(00:13:31):

I believe in you.

(00:13:32):

I love you.

Discussion about this episode

User's avatar